West coast makes us look better
Leada DeVaney, Hartselle Enquirer
"Thank goodness for Mississippi."
Growing up in Alabama, that's a phrase I've heard all my life. Alabama may be 49th in education, quality of life and just about every other category, but at least we're not 50th – that spot is reserved for Mississippi.
In Alabama, we're accustomed to being 49th. We're especially proud, however, when for some reason Louisiana or West Virginia slip up and we soar to number 48 or 47.
It's party time in the Heart of Dixie.
And then, just this week came the news that California is having a gubernatorial recall election. Suddenly, Alabama looked a whole lot better.
Sure, we have a governor who has basically been abandoned by his own party, the same party that prior to his election was trumpeting him as the second coming of Ronald Reagan. And, sure, we have groups who seem determined to inform voters about the up-coming Sept. 9 tax referendum through confusion, half-truths and fuzzy photos of Montgomery "fat cats" smoking cigars in back rooms.
We do not have, however, porno publisher Larry Flint, Arnold "I'll be back" Schwarzenegger, watermelon-smashing comedian Gallagher and former baseball commissioner Peter Ueberroth running for the governor's spot.
Conservative radio host Arianna Huffington, the guy who played Arnold ("What you talkin' about Willis?" Drummon on Different Strokes and some well-endowed woman who drives a pink Camaro around Hollywood have also thrown their hats in the ring.
As of this writing, there are 250 people vying for the California governorship.
All it took to get on the ballot was about $3,500 and signatures from 60 registered California voters.
Voters there will be asked if they want to recall the current governor, Gray Davis and, if they do, who they would like to see replace him.
These lax criteria have brought the nuts out of the woodwork. It seems everyone in California wants to be governor. It's as if, in the words of Andy Warhol, everyone is going after their 15 minutes of fame and, in this case, that fame involves sitting in the big chair in Sacramento.
I say more power to them. I hope every politician, beautician and mortician runs for governor of California. I hope the guy who played Arnold on "Different Strokes" gets elected and he appoints the pink Camaro-driving woman as head of public relations. I hope they decide to do away with government all together and all join hands and sing.
After all, it makes us here look a lot better. We're got 48th squarely in our sights.