Book review on local author

Lauren Estes-Velez, Hartselle Enquirer

Samford graduate and Atlanta native Thomas Fellows said the inspiration for his recent book Forget Self Help-Re-examining the Golden Rule came from struggle and the realization that those who initially fail at life’s trials often produces some of the most successful people, because they didn’t give up.

“During the summer of 2010, I realized how important one’s actions were towards others because that is how we can really tell that we are in-sync with God,” Fellows said.  “You can tell if a person is going to be successful or not if they deal with being rejected or deal with failing in a constructive way. I struggled with many things growing up such as school, girls and sports. Much of the success I have had today has been due to the fact that I learned how to fail and fail often early on.”

Everyone deals with failure in a different way and for Fellows, he used his struggles to find triumph.

“ Most people are scared to death to fail, not me,” Fellows said. “I always told myself if you give it 100% you have already succeeded; the majority of people are too scared to try something grand in the first place.”

Fellows book “Forget Self Help….” hits on many topics that are stressed by everyday, normal people, and he discusses these topics with references to scripture, literature and historical documentation.

A specific instance in his book states, “to become vulnerable not only requires work, but requires courage.’ He explains that to readers by referring to the importance of forgiveness.

“Honestly, the first person to make it to heaven was the criminal on the cross that admitted that he was sinful and told Jesus to forgive him,” Fellows said. “He made himself vulnerable while the other criminal was proud and mocked Jesus. The best way to tell if someone is secure in the cross or not is to point out one of their flaws. If they are really secure in the cross, they will admit their wrongdoings freely and easily. However, if they are too proud to admit that they are wrong, that’s when you know their faith is actually really weak. By the way, this could be the subject of my next book.”

An additional chapter shares about not having regret, in giving a portion of yourself for someone else- whether referring to time or money, there were many moments that Fellows experienced just that. In more times than one in life, it’s about more than yourself, it’s about giving of yourself, he said.

“I was riding up the elevator one day at work and I noticed a young gentleman who had an interview with some shoes that weren’t fit for the office,” Fellows said. “I literally took of my own shoes and gave them to him and kept his shoes until he got done with the interview.”

In the book, Fellows zones in on “extremists” and says “in one way or another, we are all an extremis.” People often develop a negative connotation to the word extremist, or being extreme, but Fellows’ explanation on why might surprise you.

“The reason extreme is seen as a negative word is being extreme isn’t normal and people are afraid if something is not normal,” Fellows said. “The only advice I could give them is to look at the most influential leaders in the last few decades.  All of them were extreme in some form or fashion.”

All in all, the book covers the feelings of the mind and emotions of heart from failure to success, depression to joy. He conducts that truly the best way to help yourself is to by helping others and giving of yourself.

The book is geared towards the mindset of a Christian in the South, but could be easily followed by anyone needing a positive, encouraging read.

References are often made to the Bible, To Kill a Mockingbird and Uncle Tom’s Cabin, each displaying the importance of doing for others.

Fellows said there were several individuals who played a role in seeing his words and thoughts be successfully put on paper.

“There are three individuals who made this book “happen,” Fellows said. “The first was my good friend Jenna Buckley who pushed me to write it after she read a brief snippet of it. The second was Rob Litzkie who was first editor and made me believe that it could be something great.  The last person was my father, Hank Fellows who encouraged me to finish it and spent many hours editing it.  Without those three, the book never would have happened.”

Forget Self Help can be found on Amazon, and certain Barnes and Nobles locations.