Remember…children are a gift
Michelle Blaylock, Mom's Corner
I was in a doctor's office the other day and a child rearing magazine cover caught my eye. It said something like "No More Tantrums" or "Never have a meltdown again."
I couldn't resist scanning the article. After all, I would love for my children to never have another tantrum or meltdown. I would love for my children to always be happy and content. I would love to be able to say in a sweet and loving tone, "No dear, we're not buying gum today," and have my angel say something like, "OK, Mommy." I would love to. . .well, you get the idea.
Anyway, I eagerly turned to the article. The general idea was to prevent meltdowns by focusing on the time of day they occur and having a plan to intervene before the meltdown occurs.
For example, if a meltdown occurs every day right before supper, it may be because your little one is too hungry to wait.
So you might try to eat supper a little earlier or have some healthy munchies available to tied your child over until the main meal is ready.
The article had several different scenarios. My favorite was the naptime suggestion. The article said to create a routine just like you have a bedtime and then quietly tuck your little one in. Ummm. Yeah, right. I know for some children this would probably work, but on my little one I don't think so.
The thing is although this article did have some practical suggestions, they wouldn't work for everyone and I still don't believe you can raise a child and never have tantrums.
The problem is sooner or later children will push for greater independence whether they are ready or not and that's where the problem lies. Sometimes parents must say no and eventually the child will balk.
Now before I get a deluge of letters and emails, I know there are some children who tend to be naturally good tempered and like to comply. However, even those occasionally have their days.
I believe you should try to avoid as many triggers for tantrums as possible. If you have to go shopping at a time of day you know your darling is going to be hungry, then plan to have a snack on hand. If you know your angel hates to get up in the morning, then look at your morning schedule and see if you can find out specifically what the problem is. Is your child not going to bed early enough? Does your child need more time to wake up? Maybe a backrub or opening the blinds would help. Could it be because your little one feels a little insecure in the mornings. Perhaps planning the next day's schedule the night before would do the trick.
Does your child hate to wait at offices and such? You could make a special backpack used just for wait time. Put things into it that your child doesn't get to play with very often, or have special books, coloring pages, etc. that can only be used when waiting.
All that having been said, sometimes a tantrum is still going to happen when your darling tests his or her limits. That's when you just have to weather the tantrum and feel confident you're doing what's best in the long run for your child. It also helps to keep repeating, "Children are a gift from God. Children are a gift from God. Children are…"
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