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Household grows by one vacuum cleaner

By Staff
Leada Gore, Editor
We haven't sent out official announcements yet, but our household grew by one last week. No, it's not a bundle of joy wrapped in pink or blue or even a furry, cute puppy with a wet nose. Instead, it's something round, mechanical and somewhat futuristic. Let me explain:
I knew something was up when I saw a coupon for a popular home decorating store on the front seat of Greg's car. I knew this wasn't a place he frequented and was surprised he even knew what this store was. Then I remembered a conversation about a robotic vacuum cleaner Greg had seen on television some weeks before.
"We should get one of those," he said, telling me how it would make our (meaning my) lives so much easier. I didn't say anything as we walked into the store or even when he asked the sales clerk if this model was the same one on the commercial.
"It is," she said. "It's our most popular model."
I examined the machine when we got home. It's round, a bit larger than a dinner plate and about two inches tall. It's designed to vacuum using sensors to detect where the dirt is and, company officials said, can be turned loose in a room to vacuum until its heart is content.
When it's tired, as in its battery is low, it finds its recharger and redocks itself. There are even lasers you can put around the house to keep it confined to a certain room, sort of like an electronic fence some people use for their pets.
And that's exactly what this was to Greg – a pet.
"I put Him (Him?) in the study," he said. "I hope He doesn't get tangled up in the computer wires. I checked His battery and he seems to be OK and I emptied his dust bin and I…"
I interrupted.
"First of all, it's a thing, not a Him," I said. "And, it's vacuuming, so I can guarantee you it's a Her and not a Him."
The vacuum cleaner (I named it Greg Jr.) finished its work and went and docked itself.
"He's asleep," Greg said.
I just nodded.
It's been about a month since we brought the vacuum home and I have noticed Greg's attention has started to wane. He still likes the vacuum and will occasionally comment on its ability to pick this or that up off the floor. But, like a child who quickly tires of a toy once its novelty has expired, he has began looking at new and exciting products.
"You think there's a lawn mower that cuts the grass by itself?" he asked one day last week.
I, however, am left caring for the robotic vacuum cleaner and trying to make sure He's clean, healthy and up to sweeping up the breakfast crumbs.
And, of course, worrying about how to pay for His education. College sure is expensive these days.